July 9
Beyonce: What if we made the “Single Ladies” video but it was in color instead of in black and white.
Music Video Director: Now you are talking!
Beyonce: Do you know anyone who is terrible at Photoshop?
Music Video Director: I do!
Beyonce: So we make the “Single Ladies” video but in color, and we put in a really awful, just dreadful Photoshopped landscape in the background.
Music Video Director: Keep going! You’re on ideas fire!Beyonce: At about 37 seconds into the video, I want a tiny CGI horse to run across the background.
Music Video Director: Great!
Beyonce: But barely perceptible.
Music Video Director: OK.
Beyonce: BARELY PERCEPTIBLE, THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME THAT YOU BASICALLY NOT EVEN SEE THE CGI HORSE.
Music Video Director: Got it.
Beyonce: A whisper of a CGI horse. A dream.
Music Video Director: Yes, Beyonce.
Beyonce: Later in the video I want to wear a gold outfit that looks like it is from the future today, but will look dated and embarrassing in less than three years.
Music Video Director: We can do that.
Beyonce: How long do you think it will take to make this video, and how much do you think it will cost?
Music Video Director: I need 45 minutes and 17 dollars.
Beyonce: You can have 30 minutes and 12 dollars.
Music Video Director: Deal.
I LOVE YOU GABE (do you think I can get Gabe from Videogum to read my tumblr if I mention him/creep him out enough? I have gotten other people from the internet to read it by talking about them/their blogs!)
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